What's in a Name?

Certified Paraoptometric or professional eyeglass bender or ________? You decided...

Yesterday, a young woman annoited me with a new title - professional eyeglass bender - after I adjusted her new glasses. She was so cute. Today, after cleaning several pair of gunk laden glasses it crossed my mind that Mike Rowe could probably come up with yet another title (use your imagination). I just don't understand how you can let your glasses get so dirty. This one pair had so much dirt and skin oil congealed between the nose pad and the frame that I had to dig it out with a screw driver before I could remove the nose pad. Eeeeewwww! Film at eleven????

Several times a week people will come in with this look on their faces and you know they've had a glasses mishap. There's usually a challenge to be met, i.e. one of the frame parts is bent beyond recognition. They come to you expecting a miracle, and a miracle they usually get. So, here's the but... Ninety percent of these people tell you they don't know what happened. They took their glasses off the night before and now they are mangled. We fix them regardless of what happened, but they just can't admit that they could have possibly done this to their glasses. It's most commical. I get a chuckle every time.

My favorite glasses mishap story came from a humble patient, you know, someone who admitted that he had screwed up. He left his glasses on the dash and they flew out the open window as he was backing out of his parking place at a ski resort. As you can imagine, when they flew out the window, he drove over them. To add insult to injury, when he realized that he didn't have the glasses, he pulled back into his parking place to find them. So, he drove over them again. We saw them the next day. Amazingly enough, due to the shear durability of the frame he owned, they only needed a minor adjustment to the nose pad arm. Unfortunately, the lenses weren't quite so durable.

It's very rewarding to help our patients pick out their glasses and even more rewarding to see their faces light up when we dispense the finished pair. This evening I stayed late to help a patient pick out a new frame. She's always so much fun to work with because she loves bright colors and fun designs. Finally, the styles are cooperating, and it's not so hard to find her what she wants. At times like this, I think my title should be eyeglass stylist...